Lessons from the older generation
Here's daughter-in-law Jessica, son Derek and wife Louise on the way to A Bigger Bang in Columbus.
My column about visiting the Rolling Stones in Columbus on Sept. 24, 2005 and Pittsburgh, Sept. 28, 2005. This first appeared in the Ashtabula Star Beacon Oct. 2, 2005
Or, you can say the heck with it, stuff a digital camera down your pants and stroll into a Rolling
RONNIE WOOD and Keith Richards doing "Infamy" in Columbus
Stones concert.
This concert was at Nationwide Arena Sept. 24 in Columbus, where cameras and recording equipment are strictly prohibited. (Reports that I should be getting a recording of the concert any day are completely false. Just stay away from my mailbox.)
Now a Stones newsgroup suggested stuffing the camera down my pants in, well, you know what area. That's because people don't really pat you down there.
I had another idea of just placing the camera in my Stones ballcap and carry it in, as if I had just taken the cap off because we were going inside.
Wife Louise, son Derek and his new wife, Jessica, were with me. Louise rolled her eyes at my plan and told me stuffing it down my pants was the better idea.
So we stood in this long line waiting to get into Nationwide and my camera was down my pants.
MICK TOWELS off at the small stage in Columbus, with Charlie in the background.
So I practiced balancing my camera in my pants, trying to be nonchalant, trying to be cool, trying to make sure it didn't fall out.
Derek either said, "My dad's so cool," or "If he gets caught, I'm not going back to the car with him." I can't remember. Jessica just laughed. Some people laugh at anything.
RONNIE REACTS to Keith Richards during "Oh Know, Not You Again."
As we entered Nationwide, we were in for a shock. The attendants were using a wand to check everyone for metal.
I mulled pulling the camera out right there and going with my original plan of hiding it in my hat, hoping when I lifted my arms, they wouldn't notice the hat.
I stepped up to the wand and sure enough, it started beeping. Miraculously, the attendant simply said "thank you" and I went into the arena. It seems my cellphone was visible and she decided that's where all of the beeping came from.
RONNIE DID some cool solos. Sorry, Taylor fans.
So off we went to find our seats. I also decided to experiment with my newly freed camera to see how the pictures would come out on stage. Opening act Beck was pretty lively. Given the distance
from the stage, the fact the band was constantly
THE GUITAR PIC Keith threw at me. moving and people waving their arms caught the focusing mechanism, most of my photos looked like a series of color splotches.
When the Stones finally came on, I found I could get a few fair photos. You could not only tell they were people, you could figure out who they were. Eventually, the stage itself moved until the band was eight rows in front of us for a few songs. At that point, I was able to get a few decent photos, ones I could place on my computer wallpaper without being embarrassed when the paid photographers came in.
CHARLIES IS pleased with how things are going and let's Keith know.
Meanwhile, Derek and Jess were getting another example of how to act from an older couple. The woman in front of us apparently had the world's biggest nicotine addiction. Not only did she sit with her head near the floor to smoke in the nonsmoking facility, but she and her husband/boyfriend drank huge amounts of beer, topping it off with some marijuana.
Eventually, the male friend was too stewed to remain upright and slumped into his chair while the woman was shaking her butt. He amused himself by keeping time to "Sympathy For the Devil" by slapping one of her butt cheeks, then the other. She appeared oblivious.
MICK JAGGER SINGS "Miss You," taken with the camera I smuggled into Nationwide Arena.
When Keith Richards threw a guitar pic into the crowd, it bounced off my chest and landed on the floor. I started looking at the seat in front of me, but drunk lady was searching too and tried to pry my hands away. I spotted the pic below the seat. It was mine.
To her credit, she shook my hand. I kept the pic.
Boyfriend went back to playing the bongos, or buttgos.
I won't go into the part where she flashed the stage.
At a Rolling Stones concert, you see people of all ages. There were kids who looked 7 or 8, others had to be older than 60. Heck, Mick Jagger is 62 and drummer Charlie Watts is 66.
My son and his wife learned valuable lessons while watching the greatest rock band ever.
If you're going to sneak a camera in, have a cellphone handy.
If you don't have your own bongo drums, improvise.
A few nights later, I made a solo visit to Pittsburgh to see the band outdoors at PNC Park. The stage was not to be believed, it was so massive, colorful and constantly changing.
A few other observations:
PNC Park is one of the few places I've actually seen men lined up well out the door to use the restroom. I asked someone if there was the same problem during Pirates games. He said he didn't think the venue was built for such a huge crowd. Guess with the Pirates' record, that's easy to understand.
KEITH ON guitar, Charlie on, well, you know what Charlie's on.
Before the concert, I killed time in my car listening to all-Stones music on the classic rock station. When the car suddenly went dead, the guy at the nearby service garage jumped it for me because he said he is "a personal friend of Charlie Watts."
There were people all over selling unofficial Rolling Stones T-shirts. 
Lebzelter is special sections editor. E-mail him at bobleb@starbeacon.com
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